Nine

Today is sponsored by the number 9.

Planner: Updated

Just a quick update. I decided on a planner today. I could not justify paying $100 for a Truly Mom calendar, a nice one, but still a calendar. I feel a bit like I settled.
Many I know swear by Franklin Covey. I used to use them myself. And have thought about just getting refills for my beautiful leather cover that I have, but something holds me back. So today after I searched for a store front, and found one close by, we went. With out further adieu':
http://shopping.franklinplanner.com/shopping/catalog/productpaper.jsp?navAction=push&crc=cat960026&navCount=0&id=prod2210050

It's not perfect, I wish the spaces were wider, but I enjoy how the kids section has 3 distinct sections. It'll do. At least I settle for top of the line.

Water Water Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink

Water Water Everywhere- and not a drop to drink.

That is exactly how I am feeling right now. I am searching for the perfect mom/family calendar/planner. I am so frustrated! Literally I have spent the last hour scouring the web searching for the worlds perfect planner, and have come to the conclusion, that it does not exist!

There are so many calendars. Printable, custom, add pages, desk top, portable, wall mounted...the list goes on and on and on... you get the idea.

Am I being unreasonable? Asking for the perfect calendar?
What I would like in a calendar:
*weekly and monthly views
*blank note pad

That's it!

What I don't need in a calendar;
*grocery shopping list
*address book
*time blocks on the weekly pages

In full disclosure- I found one I like. http://www.trulymom.com/shop/index.php?cPath=23
I think it is too expensive and I know that I will not use the address book. (I have an actual address book)

Some might say, "Why not use your blackberry/pda/cell as your planner"? I have thought on this for some time. I like the paper. I also like to keep my old planners, just in case. (I have pulled out years past calendars helping my attorney with dates and such). I guess I am a bit intimidated to put not only my schedule on an electronic device but also the girls' schedules.
Will this turn me into an old lady who doesn't keep up with the times, and doesn't know how to use the devices of the day? At least I know how to turn on the computer.

So if you love your personal calendar: tell me about it.

Journey of a Thousand Miles: Thru the Desert

While managing a restaurant in the middle of the desert for some six years I met a lot of interesting people. None more interesting perhaps than those that elected to walk thru the desert. Not all had the same start or finish point, some were shorter trips then others, some were for a truly deep and meaning full purpose and others were 'just for fun'. (I am not one that thinks walking thru the desert is a great way to pass the weekend). However this is not about my opinion.

There was the middle aged man that was walking from LA to NY, dressed as Charlie Chaplain. His wife had died from a rare form of cancer. Somehow his walk as Charlie Chaplain, would bring interest and knowledge to his late wife's form of cancer. A last testament of his love.

I could not forget the college guy that begged pity, for me to make him a fresh lemon, apple, ginger, wheat grass drink late in the afternoon. (I obligated but not out of pity, out of support) His journey was from San Diego to a retreat center in Phoenix where he would spend the next 6 months in silence.

Two women, maybe in their thirties, were not walking but rather riding. I think there were more riders, bicycle riders that is, then I chatted with. The couple was delighted at my interest in their journey and at my willingness to fill not only their water bottles but their camelbac's with ice and water.

There was a late teen making the journey thru the Mojave, whilst he decided about a course after high school. He was stunned that his rest at my little cafe was going to be the last for at least 300+ miles. I think I have spent the most time thinking about him after our chance meeting. He was not prepared for the heat, the desolation, the distance. My friend and coworker Laura and I begged him to get more rations, more prepared before he headed out. I gave him the phone number and asked him to call when he got to a resting stop. He never did call. I probably never really thought he would. I think he was headed to Las Vegas, and then where ever the wind took him after that.

There were many more, some more memorable then the rest, and some that seeping into the background of my memory. It takes a truly strong individual to walk thru the desert. I am sure I do not have to describe the heat, whatever your imagination has conjured up multiple that by about 10 and there you have it. Days that can get upwards of 115 degrees is not the most comfortable to be out in. Let alone walking in. It is true what they say about joshua tree's; they point the way to Israel, and only grow in 29 Palms and Hell. The bugs...oh the bugs. Bugs as big as your head. Blood thirsty bugs.

Most of the people I met making this journey were alone. For this purpose alone and none other, I would never be able to join in their ranks, of desert walkers. It is difficult for me to be alone for several days, when I have constant sources of modern entertainment. Any task alone is an effort for me. As I have gotten older I have adapted. I still can't go to the movies alone. I feel more comfortable with my friends, with a friend; it makes the task so much more fun. A close friend once told me if I wanted to, he would pay for me to participate in a 2 week silence mediation retreat. I can't do it. I couldn't do it.

I suppose the journey would not be all bad. The desert silence is a great escape from the constant hum of the city. Actually, the desert if you are still enough, quite has it's own sounds, like nothing else. Just as the forest makes its own music so does the desert. Coming from a self proclaimed city girl this is a much anticipated plus. The sunsets: desert sunsets are only second to desert sunrises. Pictures may be worth a thousand words, but they do no justice to desert days beginning and endings.

In the last 3 days I saw several people making their own 1000 mile journey thru the desert. It made me think of my past encounters, and how each of them left a footprint; on myself, on the others they enlightened along their journey, and on the desert. To all that make a journey of a thousand miles thru the desert, or else where, I salute you.

Watching Concrete Dry

Today myself and all the kids spend the day at 'the lot'; along with my Mother. The concrete was poured today. It was really interesting to see. Shows are well practiced, lines are memorized, blocking is worked out time and time again, lights are places, sets are build, etc. The pouring of concrete is just the same. Team work, constant 100% effort. What really caught my eye was the dance that two workers participated in when dragging the 2x4 across the top of the wet concrete. drag, pull back foot, push forward on the surface, drag. Each step, each move was done in complete unison as their partner. Not once did they speak to each other. Just an observation.

The girls had a great time. Playing, climbing, digging, watching, talking (read: bugging) workers. PJ did not take a single nap, that whole refuses to sleep in strange places thing of her's, as a result she has been in bed for the last 6 hours. At this point I hope she just remains asleep until morning.

Just before we left the almost dried concrete house/lot today, Alison joined us to leave our mark. Our own Hollywood Star if you will. So forever on the floor of my Dad's workshop is the right hand prints of his daughters, and his granddaughter.

From Blogger Pictures

Call Guiness Book!

It's a record! Throw a ticker day parade! Call the press!


My mom has half of her Christmas decoration down and it's only January 6th!


It's not even Easter yet!


Okay, we are all a bit tired of 'running interference' with PJ and the decorations.

Giving Support

For the last few months, my ability to give support has been stretched, more than I ever though it would be; more than I thought it could be. But stretch it did. And just as if it were a Gumby doll it stretched, with ease. This ease has amazed me, and I give my thanks for it daily, multiple times a day!

I was once told by a brilliant woman, that a big catastrophe has the ability to use up all the bad energy/karma, leaving a clean slate for a wonderful new beginning.

Tonight I had to teach this to my daughters. Stretching Gumby, even farther. Again there is drama and turmoil in their lives that I can not protect them from. We don't talk about some of the grimy details- we don't label- I am the stepmother. I often think of being a SM as being bi-polar (I mean no disrespect to those with the disease, or those affected by someone with the disease) high HIGH's and low LOW's. Tonight was a low, a super low.

My girls called their biomom. Just like they do ever week. This call they were given some terribly upsetting news. One spend almost an hour yelling and crying, the large uncontrollable hail tears. The other found a new role, that had recently become vacated by her sister, the sympathy roll. The ladder scares me the most because she also chooses not to acknowledge her own feelings, and in listening to her- makes excuses, justifies the choices that caused her and her sisters pain and hurt.

Either way, Gumby stretched, and stretched and stretched and stretched...

I hope the lesson I called upon to help my girls thru this dark time, on the verge of a new year, not only helps them, but truly wipes the slate clean for them. They are young, and have minimal if any karmic debt to pay off. In their short little lives they have been dragged thru the mud by some that have, imho, walked a fine line tempting karma over and over and over again. And just to be clear I truly believe that karma has begun getting her debt paid to her, and will continue to do so until karma deems the debt paid in full. I know this year holds beautiful, magical, fantastic things. I know this evening has helped my girls, in many ways. What I ask for is enough stretch to continue to give support until we are completely thru this low, and back into 'normal' life again, back into higher lows and lower highs; all that come from being a family with a preteen and late adolescent.

"If God brings you to it, He will bring you thru it".